Death, Decay and Madness - Yes please!
I came home the other day and was looking for something to watch on the telly to kill some time. I finally found, "The Tomb of Ligeia" (which I've seen before) staring Vincent Price, based on an Edgar Allan Poe story. Let me tell you, as soon as I see the name Vincent Price combined with "Based on Edgar Allan Poe" I'm flipping in immediately. I loved "The House of Usher." It occured to me that I loved this sort of Gothic horror the best, so I wikipedia-ed it:
(from wiki):
Prominent features of gothic fiction include terror (both psychological and physical), mystery, the supernatural, ghosts, haunted houses and Gothic architecture, castles, darkness, death, decay, doubles, madness, secrets and hereditary curses.
The stock characters of gothic fiction include tyrants, villains, bandits, maniacs, Byronic heroes, persecuted maidens, femmes fatales, madwomen, magicians, vampires, werewolves, monsters, demons, revenants, ghosts, perambulating skeletons, the Wandering Jew and the Devil himself.
Important ideas concerning and regarding the Gothic include: Anti-Catholicism, especially criticism of Roman Catholic excesses such as the Inquisition (in southern European countries such as Italy and Spain); romanticism of an ancient Medieval past; melodrama; and parody (including self-parody).

Seriously, does it get any better??

In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning

Okay, I'm a night owl, so anything before 10am technically classifies as the wee small hours of the morning. Since January, I've had a heck of time waking up. My alarm goes off at 6.15 - if I'm lucky, I'll hear it and get out of bed before my alphabetically organized CD hits songs that start with S.If I'm not lucky, I wake up to silence meaning I have slept through the entire thing. And if I'm really not lucky, I wake up to Jenge standing at my door saying, "Hey, it's 7.45. Are you going into work today??"

So Jenge has been my last resort backup. But she's a teacher and about start holidays in July. Who's gonna get Evil Margarita out of bed (because, dear reader, it's evil Margarita who's in charge that early in the morning and she DOESN'T CARE).

Maybe I can rely on the puppies to wake me up!

I'm so screwed.

I wouldn't have to look at you this way if you just did what you were told

Jealous, I say!
Now, I have a strict "No lying to the doctor" policy, but Dr. Usual was on vacation so I was seeing Dr. Other Guy and I wasn't quite sure that my no lie policy had extended coverage to him. So when he asked me, "How much coffee do you drink?" I said, "I have a cup in the morning."

Which wasn't a lie, per se. I mean, I do have a cup in the morning. Followed by a second cup. Followed by a cup at work, and then maybe some in the evening. . . . Not that he asked ANY follow up questions to my 'cup in the morning' answer.

See, I KNEW what he would say as soon as I told him how much coffee I drink. He'd immediately jump to the conclusion that it was the source of all my troubles. But I've ALWAYS had that much coffee. In fact, I've actually cut back over the last couple of years from my all time high of 7-8 cups a day, chased by 3-4 shots of espresso. So I KNOW that's not my problem. But doctor's don't care how much you know you're body. They will immediately JUMP to the conclusion that coffee is to blame.

And it's not!! They, along with my chiropractor and a select few holistic peeps I know, are jealous of the amount of coffee I can drink in a day and not suffer from jitters, shakiness, nor insomnia. I do suffer from the occasional bout of insomnia, but it CANNOT be traced back to my coffee habit. If anything, it's the nights that I dont' get to relax with a cuppa joe in front of the telly that I toss and turn.

Green with jealousy.

You can lead a horse to water. . . .

It was getting out of hand. I was starting to change my daily plans to make allowances. I was changing what I drank, when I drank it and how much. Because I never knew when it would strike! Oh sure, I could have gone to the doctor weeks ago, I mean, I should have gone right back after I had my allergic reaction to antibiotics before finishing the full course. But I HATE going to the doctor. I'm one of those people that hopes it will all go away. Generally, by the time I tell my doctor I have a problem, it's been going on for years! But now my coffee habits were getting shifted. I was starting to cut back. shudder.

All because I was afraid!! Afraid I would be trapped somewhere and have to pee!!

It was happening all the time!! It was ruining my days, my nights. My coworkers prolly thought I had developed a savage cocaine habit as I was off to the loo every hour on the hour. I could barely make my commute, even in good weather. I had to plan everything around whether there would be a bathroom close by and how much water/coffee I had had to drink.

But I finally made it to my doctor's office today. And then!! Oh the irony!! The twisted cruelty of it all!!

Shy bladder!!

I waited, and waited. Surely, I would have to pee sometime. I specifically drank extra for just such an occasion. La La la, should I get up and turn the tap on. Ack! No can do! someone else just came in. La La La. . . It was a no go. Foiled by my own body.

I had to go back into the doctors' office, my head hung in shame. I had cracked (or rather, I hadn't cracked) under the pressure. There was a five year old getting the same test done. She had no problems. Cruel world.

So they plied me with two extra large glasses of water and I plunked myself down in the waiting room. And waited. And waited. and waited. I was determined!! I was NOT LEAVING UNTIL I SUCEEDED!!

Half an hour later, I had enough 'success' for a test to be run. It was inconclusive. Fascists. Now I have to go for more tests. . . .