This one time, at band camp.......
My sister teaches Grade 2. She has likened her job to crowd control at a large, public event. Although her job and my job rarely have anything in common, after last month's [painfully long, drawn out, not relevant, I-think-I'm-bleeding-from-the-ears-] meeting, I have decided to take a few notes from my sister and hopefully apply them to the next meeting. Before anyone speaks up, they should try to go through the following checklist, which my sister uses for her 8 year olds:

1. Does what you have to say have to do with what we are talking about? If yes, go to the next question. If no, put your hand down and put your listening face back on.

2. Is it a tattle? If no, go to the next question. If yes, I do not listen to tattles.

3. Is a question or a comment? Remember! Questions are: Who, What, Why, When, Where and How? and I know the difference between a question and a comment. So no fooling! If it's a question, proceed to the next item on the list. If not, I'm sure it's very interesting but if we all shared a personal story, we wouldn't get anything done!

4. Has someone else already asked it? Has it already been answered? Several times? Were you paying attention? Had your listening face on? Are you sure?


I think if we follow the above 4 questions, we can cut next meeting time down from 1.5 hrs to 15 minutes. True Story.

The Naked Man in the Room

I really don't understand most art. If I look at something and I think it's pretty, then I like it. If I look at something and I think it's ugly, then I don't. Honestly, I think all Monet paintings look like they got rained on. And don't even get me started on sculptures made from trash.

A few months ago, Chantal offered me a free ticket to One Yellow Rabbit's anniversary at the Jubilee. I figured, hey, why not?

Five minutes after the show started, I was watching a naked man wearing only a pair of red rubber gloves dunk his head into a bucket of water and then yell I AM THE WHALER!!

My eyes darted right and left as I tried to figure this out by surveying the reactions of the people around me: was this supposed to be serious? funny? avant garde?

Everyone started joining in, yelling with him I AM THE WHALER.

I really wasn't sure what to do. I kind of wished I brought my knitting.

Last night, I was pinch hitting for Chantal's band as a back up singer at an artsy person's birthday and suddenly, there he was! NAKED WHALER Guy. I'm sure he has a name. in fact, I'm pretty sure he's well respected and revered in the art community, as he is one of the founding members of One Yellow Rabbit. but to me, he will always be Naked Whaler Guy.

Somehow I doubt that was the impression he was going for.