The Book and Writing

For years, I have been working on The Book. The Book has no title - at least, not one I want to share. And that's the problem with my writing. I don't like to share it. I like to hoard it. It takes me a LONG LONG time to be comfortable enough to share my writing. Donna had to wait YEARS before I showed her anything and Ashleigh only got to read stuff because she was coughing up her own writing. And every time I would exchange stuff with Ash, I would nervously check my inbox for feedback.

I've been writing short stories, novels, extended plots, soap operas etc since I was 17. I used to write what I wanted when I wanted how I wanted. And somewhere, sometime I got caught up in GETTING PUBLISHED. and suddenly writing wasn't fun anymore. It was stressful, and a chore, and it was painful, and I watched the clock while I did it and every word that got typed got scrutinized painfully. And counted. Would a publisher like this? what would a reader say/think? who would my readers be? Was it childish? Cliched? Was I following the 'rules' I'd learned in Grade 7 - Introduction, Rising Action, Climax, Denouement. Was there enough character growth? Too much? would people care about my characters? Too much dialogue?

Ashleigh and I set deadlines for ourselves, for each other, made promises to deliver pages, paragraphs - on time [and under budget!].

And it was HORRIBLE. I had never disliked writing before. I had never dreaded it. I used to sit in my bedroom on the floor with a pitcher of koolaid and a fine selection of CDs/cassette tapes and just have at 'er with my Special Pens and my Special Notebooks.

I had to think long and hard about what I was doing and why. and I decided to Frak it. Did I care about getting published? Sure I did, but not as much as i wanted to get the 'happy' that had been SUCKED out of my writing hobby.

So, I've dropped The Book. At least Book 1. There was too much emotional baggage wrapped up in it. And now I write what I want when I want and how I want. and the Happy is still there! It was waiting for me to get my head out of my ass!

I still consider myself a writer. Even if I never get published, even if I never even try to get published. I like my stuff. I never think, Jeez, I wish that hadn't have happened, or why did so and so go do THAT, - the way I do when I read books. Because when I write, I am god. Stuff only happens because I want it to happen and people only do stuff because of reasons I've given them. It's narcissistic and self-centered and MINE ALL MINE.

And you'll probably never get to read it. And I'm okay with that.

BFF

Portia and Lola are Besties [that's Best Friends or BFF for all the lingo-less]. Lola sticks her ENTIRE head inside Portia's mouth when they are playing. Portia lets Lola nibble on her ears. Portia shows remarkable patience when the puppy is pawing her. And Lola loves her some Portiacakes. Now if only Rocky wouldn't LOSE HIS MIND and bark non-stop when they played.

Bootcamp Lowdown

So, as mentioned in the previous post, I am back at Bootcamp. Tuesday was my first day back and we did our usually fitness test.
1. How fast can you run a 1km?
2 How many pushups on your toes and/or your knees can you do in 1 minute?
3. How many crunches can you do in one minute?
4. How long can you hold "The Plank" [plank of death!]
5. How long can you hold "The Squat"

While my results were not as good as my last round of bootcamp, they weren't as bad as my very first fitness test, indicating that while I've lot a lot of what I gained, I'm not back at square 1. Whoot whoot.

Although..... after the fitness test we started working out and by Wednesday morning, my legs were so sore I was afraid I wouldn't be able to sit down on a toilet and get back up. Seems my legs had forgotten all about bootcamp. one of my fellow bootcampers [who is also back after a slight sojourn] noted that she thought she would need help getting her bra off after our pushup work out.

I was telling Michelle that her getting me fit has produced some kind of weird Trickle Down Regan-omics effect. Donna and I now go roller skating and for walks. And I've recently introduced the Thursday Nooner at work, where we go for a walk/jog/stumble around the neighboorhood. And while I still believe the over physically fit are peppering the world with LIES ["I just can't function if I don't get my 32 km run in!"] I have become a tentative believer in some of the propoganda. I find my body really doesn't hurt as much when I'm working out regularly.

Back at Bootcamp and training for my next 5km!

Back to Bootcamp

Well, in December, I had to end my last bootcamp a week early, due to a business trip to San Francisco. and then my bootcamp instructor, the Awesome Michelle, went to go climb a mountain. No really. She's that fit. And so I was going to STAY FIT on my own. and sign up for bootcamp the first chance I had in January.

Only then I didn't. And I've been on a non stop feeding frenzy since Christmas. Like a "It's the end of the world as we know it" frenzy. It's been croissants for breakfast and cookies for lunch and cupcakes for dessert.

And I'm not one of those people who get physically sick from eating bad. Just emotionally sick. as in, WTF am I DOING?? WHY am I doing this? Don't I have any self control? Oh, is that a left over croissant there, hang on.....

So, I signed up for Bootcamp again and tomorrow is day one. I'm only going twice a week this time, because it's FRAKING FEBRUARY and cold, but I AM going.

Jessi and I have already signed up for a 5k in March, and I'm going to run it. So, it's back to Bootcamp for me!

A Post by Lola

Hi! I'm still new to this all and trying to figure some stuff out, but here's how I think it goes.
1. Portia will play with you until Portia is done. And then she will growl. If you don't back off immediately and show her your belly, she will lay on the smack down.
2. There is no telling when Portia will be done playing. Sometimes it's five minutes, sometimes it's 10 seconds.
3. If you walk away from your food bowl more than 5 times during breakfast or dinner, it gets taken away.
4. The best place to potty is the piano room. Paws down. although you get yelled at for it.
5. It is possible to jump off the bed when you get left there, but you have to really really really want it.
6. Mummy does not want to talk to you while she is in the shower.
7. The best water is in Rocky's bowl, and no one drinks water from anywhere else.
8. I love Rocky. I'm sure he's just playing hard to get.
9. Going down stairs is WAY HARDER than going up stairs, so it's best to cry until Mummy feels sorry for you and carries you down.
10. You always get a treat when you go into the crate.