Hostage!

My name is Rocky and for the last two and a half years I have been held hostage. My captors are two biped gigantors and a four legged freak named Portia. The bipeds calle themselves Mummy Jennifer and Mummy Margarita. I am at the mercy of my captors who decide when I eat, how much I get, whether I can go outside or stay in. I am forced to sleep on only the small corner of a queen size bed. Sometimes the freak, Portia, stands guard at the door and won't let me in or out. I'm forced to do stupid tricks with bizarre names such as 'Shake a Paw' or 'Roll Over.' Portia guards the bones and I never get to chew them or play with other toys unless they are hidden from her and only taken out for me in secret. They torture me with a terrible ritual known only as 'Grooming.' I don't know if you will get this message but if you do, send help. Send kibble.