Here's a quarter, call someone who cares - If you can find a phone that works.

Okay, so my office moved and the move was pretty sudden. Shaw Cable (my new best friend) was able to hook us up the very next day. They were helpful, polite and apologized for not being able to hook up our internet sooner. Shaw Cable - You are my hero!!

But, let's not forget the phones. Can't have an office without phones. So I phone my office's telephone company, Melus*. After waiting on hold, speaking to the disembodied voice of the phone system (Please speak your answer now. Okay, it sounds like you are moving. Is this business or commercial? Please speak your answer now. Okay, it sounds like you are a business account) I get a REAL LIVE person who asks why I am calling. What was the whole rigamorole I just went through? Am I on candid camera??!! Anyway, the earliest she can get me in is August 18th.

August 18th. It was July 28th when I called. But what can I do? Digital phone is not available in the new area. I'm over a barrell and she knows it. Alright, August 18th. But I ask her if she can set up call forwarding on our line so it will go to my boss' cell phone. She says she's doing it as we speak.

Flash forward to the following Monday and I go back to the old office to set up call forwarding and am told by the disembodied voice, "You do not currently have this feature installed." MELUS!! You are my nemisis!

And on Friday, the 11th, Melus dude shows up to do our phones, at 4.45, just as Chantal and I were leaving. We weren't expecting him and we have no key to the telephone room (where all the important blinking lights and pretty cable is kept). I explain the sitch to him and he says he will call to see if he can get call forwarding set up. He spends 40 minutes on the phone, gets transferred 6 times and at the end of it all, IT STILL CAN'T BE DONE!!! AND HE WORKS FOR THEM!!

I told him, you know what, don't sweat it, we went a week without it, we can go a few days more. He says, 'Oh, but I get off at 5.30 and I got a few more minutes to kill so I don't have to go somewhere else.'

That sound you heard was my brain imploding.

He SWORE he would be back noon on Monday. What do you think my chances are? Or should I buy a lotto ticket instead?


* Names have been changed to protect the no-so-innocent.