Jealous, I say!
Now, I have a strict "No lying to the doctor" policy, but Dr. Usual was on vacation so I was seeing Dr. Other Guy and I wasn't quite sure that my no lie policy had extended coverage to him. So when he asked me, "How much coffee do you drink?" I said, "I have a cup in the morning."

Which wasn't a lie, per se. I mean, I do have a cup in the morning. Followed by a second cup. Followed by a cup at work, and then maybe some in the evening. . . . Not that he asked ANY follow up questions to my 'cup in the morning' answer.

See, I KNEW what he would say as soon as I told him how much coffee I drink. He'd immediately jump to the conclusion that it was the source of all my troubles. But I've ALWAYS had that much coffee. In fact, I've actually cut back over the last couple of years from my all time high of 7-8 cups a day, chased by 3-4 shots of espresso. So I KNOW that's not my problem. But doctor's don't care how much you know you're body. They will immediately JUMP to the conclusion that coffee is to blame.

And it's not!! They, along with my chiropractor and a select few holistic peeps I know, are jealous of the amount of coffee I can drink in a day and not suffer from jitters, shakiness, nor insomnia. I do suffer from the occasional bout of insomnia, but it CANNOT be traced back to my coffee habit. If anything, it's the nights that I dont' get to relax with a cuppa joe in front of the telly that I toss and turn.

Green with jealousy.