The Order of Things
Portiacakes has been OOC [Out of Control] lately. It's crazy. We can hardly leave her alone, even when we are in the house. Counters, carpet... nothing is safe. So I made an appointment for a behavioural consult with my vet to see what's going on. I explained what's been happening:

Me: She jumps up on the counters all the time!
Vet: When you aren't at home?
Me: No! Right in front of me! She counter surfs!
Vet: what happens when she sees you?
Me: Well, the time she ate the cookie dough, she just hastily ate four more cookie blobs as I hustled over to her and then jumped off as soon as I got there.
Vet[shocked]: RIGHT in FRONT of YOU?
Me: Yes.

Then we chatted about where Portia slept [my bed], Portia's schedule, Portia's habits, Portia's likes and dislikes. And it all boiled down to this.

Vet: Here is what's going on. Portia's a bitch. You're a Pushover.
Me: [wide eyed innocent stare]: Oh.
Vet: She knows no matter what she does, mummy will still love her and give her snuggles.
Me: Well......

So, I'm trying to make some changes. No more Portia's jumping on the bed. Portiacakes has to sleep in her own bed. Portiacakes not allowed to have free reign of the house while we're gone. Right now, because of the construction in my basement, she gets the hallway upstairs. No office, no spare room, no Mummy Jennifer room, no Mummy Margarita room.

This weekend, I have to dig her crate out and start crating her at night again. Sniff.

But I've got to be strong! I've got to be tough! I'm alpha dog, dammit! and Alpha dog doesn't whine!